Tadaima

I wanted to write a post a couple days ago, but I haven't had time to do much of anything.

Do I have to say how much I love being back in Nagoya? Honestly, this feels just as much a home to me as St. Louis. I haven't traveled here, I've lived in this city, studied here, had fun here, and was challenged more than I ever have been anywhere else.

The subways smell familiar. I feel comfortable in the crowds here, not crowded. For the past three days I've spoken nothing but Japanese, and even though it's been difficult, I haven't really noticed myself struggling to understand.

I wish I had more time here with my host family, with my friends, and with the city. I want to see it at night, in the early morning, go shopping, and walk around its streets all day.

I love Nagoya more than I ever expected to. It's so passed over; most people in America don't even know it exists. Yet there's a certain charm here and also in St. Louis. It's a city you want to live in, not visit. It becomes more beautiful and interesting the more time you spend, slowly unfolding its beauty like a flower in bloom.

I'm a bit homesick in a way that's difficult to describe. I don't want to leave here; the thought of it makes me a little sick to my stomach. What if I never come back? What if something happens to my host family while I'm gone? And the biggest worry: when am I ever going to be able to bring my mother here with me? I want her to see this place that I've come to love so much. It's the one thing I'd love to give to her after she's sacrificed so much for me.

Nonetheless, I leave for Korea tomorrow. A night in Seoul, and then I'm back home and free to recount all of the stories I have piled up to tell you.